just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
