So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
