Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
