Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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