His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
