my vag is so smooth its legendary
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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