Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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