she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
