My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
