I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's official drugs can't kill me
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
