Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
