Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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