Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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