Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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