ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize
