the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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