we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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