i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
