hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
