what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm at about main and main street
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
