i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
