If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Houston, we have a squirter
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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