my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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