my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up under a house in Key West
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
