Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
