When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
