Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
