Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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