i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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