YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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