I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
