so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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