Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
PANTIES FOUND
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