how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize