i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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