I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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