your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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