if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
