My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
