brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
