Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Green mimosas i think yes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
