just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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