from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
