we have officially lost it.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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