u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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