Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize