he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
