why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
