He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
birth control should be required to get into college
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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