my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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