she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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