We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
