dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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