We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
