dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
