if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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