So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
