I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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