whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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