Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
not ubering you a puppy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm always down for nudity.
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