I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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