Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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