oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
