I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish life had little blips of pornography
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize